Year in Review: 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/26/15 at 01:45 PM CT
After last year’s disastrous showing, we here at MeltedJoystick are glad to be able – once again – to present a run-down of the five biggest gaming Fails and the five biggest gaming Wins of the year 2015.
Top 5 Fails
5. OUYA Gutted and Bought-Out by Razer
The Little Indie Console that Couldn’t has officially given up the ghost. After getting off to a rocky start as an Android-based microconsole without Google’s support via the Play Store, OUYA resorted to bribing customers with free money in an attempt to get more people to look at the OUYA Store (I never did spend mine). When that didn’t work, OUYA allowed itself to be bought-out by PC gaming peripheral company, Razer. OUYA’s heart and soul will be ripped out, rebranded as “Cortex TV” and included as a feature in Razer’s own Android microconsole… which will likely fare little better than OUYA itself.
4. Activision Buys Mobile Dev, King, for ~$6 billion
Let’s think about this: One of the Triumvirate …
Social Injustice
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/20/15 at 04:23 PM CT
We here at MeltedJoystick have refrained from participating in the low-brown mudslinging that made up the lion’s share of the Gamergate controversy that blew up last year between the gaming community and radical fringe liberals. Unfortunately, ignoring the issue has not caused it to go away, and the ongoing pressure from the radical left has started to bear fruit.
Last month, Tecmo-Koei, the publisher that is home to Team Ninja – the developer behind the fanservicey modern ‘Ninja Gaiden’ games and the ‘Dead or Alive’ fighting franchise – announced that they will not be localizing “Dead or Alive Xtreme 3” for the Western market. Their reasoning? They have been observing the Western gaming media and decided that not releasing the game – featuring busty women in bikinis playing games/sports on the beach – outside of Asia would be preferable to dealing with the negativity and bile the game would draw from the biggest Western gaming news and opinion …
The cRPG Fallacy
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/13/15 at 03:46 PM CT
Recently, I’ve noticed a resurgence of the use of the term “cRPG,” thanks to a phenomenon that PC Gamer Magazine has dubbed the ‘cRPG Renaissance.’ With games like “Pillars of Eternity,” “Wasteland 2,” “Divinity: Original Sin,” “Legend of Grimrock” (and its sequel), and the upcoming “Torment: Tides of Numenera” leading the way, the PC platform – traditionally considered the home of cRPGs – is indeed seeing more RPG releases now than it has since Black Isle and the Infinity Engine dropped off the face of the earth.
But what, exactly is a cRPG? The acronym itself merely stands for “computer role-playing game,” and I’ve typically used it myself to describe a type of RPG that is played primarily with a computer mouse, perhaps with the occasional banging on a nearby typewriter in order to pause the action before issuing a new round of commands. Historically, the “Glorious” PC Gaming Master Race has used the term cRPG to specially segregate PC …
Review Round-Up: Fall 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/06/15 at 01:48 PM CT
Welcome back to another installment of the MeltedJoystick Review Round-Up. Here’s what our staff has reviewed since last time:
Nelson’s Reviews:
This Fall, I finally got a chance to play an RPG I’ve been super excited about for a number of years. Unfortunately for you, dear readers, you won’t find a review of it on MeltedJoystick, because the game in question is “Final Fantasy Dimensions,” a smartphone game. You can, however, find a paragraph of my negative impressions right here on Google Play. Despite the fact that “FF Dimensions” ate up nearly 80 hours of my time, I managed to slog through an incredibly long ‘Fallout’ FPS Sandbox and spend a goodly amount of time with Nintendo’s “Super Mario Bros. X” knock-off.
“Super Mario Maker” – 4/5
“Rayman Legends” – 4.5/5
“Magicka” – 4/5
“Tabletop Simulator” – 4.5/5
“Fallout: New Vegas” – 4/5
“NightSky” – 4.5/5
Chris’ Reviews:
Wow! For the first time in… a …
Backlog: The Embiggening – December, 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/28/15 at 02:33 PM CT
Ah, December… the month that shall be known as “X-Mas” to future generations (at least if “Futurama” has any kind of prescience). To contemporary humans – and especially contemporary human gamers – it is a month for piling on a bunch of purchases and acquisitions-via-gifts to make our backlogs grow as fat as free-range Hobbits. Ironically, December is usually a weak month for new releases, and this year is no exception.
There isn’t much in the way of new shovelware dropping on our heads as the year comes to a close. In fact, the only scheduled release of licensed garbage we have to look forward to this month is a delayed release from last month: “Kung Fu Panda: Showdown of Legendary Legends” (seriously, if publishers are going to produce barely-playable licensed garbage, they could at least be bothered to release it on time… it’s not like the delay will suddenly make this type of game suck less).
There are two new ‘legit’ multi-platform releases …
Hey, You! Get on the Cloud!
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/22/15 at 03:35 PM CT
“The Cloud” is the hot, new fad in the world of computer technology, and shows no indications of going away any time soon. While actual “Cloud Computing” is a term referring to easily-expandable virtual server architecture, when most average folks talk about “The Cloud,” they are, instead, referring to the many services that offer blobs of online storage for individual account holders.
Having recently come to join the 21st Century (15 years late) with real, usable Internet speeds, AND having recently started to run a good, old-fashioned Dungeons & Dragons tabletop game in “The Cloud” with Berzerk Games’ “Tabletop Simulator,” I suddenly found myself with an urgent need for and ability to utilize Cloud storage. Of course, I didn’t want to actually pay for the privilege, so I went on another modern-day pilgrimage, visiting all of the holiest of holy Clouds to see if any of them were worthy of veneration. While by no means fully comprehensive, the following is …
The Mario Virus
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/15/15 at 07:37 PM CT
On September 11, 2015, Nintendo released their answer to the fantastic Indie game, “Super Mario Bros. X.” Their effort, a little WiiU game called “Super Mario Maker” has managed to attract a significant following by demystifying the world of ‘Mario’ ROM-hacks.
Now anyone can easily build and upload their own custom ‘Mario’ stages for all the world to see… except the world generally won’t see them at all. Unfortunately, Nintendo managed to implement the sharing process in their new game in such a way that momentum and viral marketing are the only ways for would-be ‘Mario’ designers to get their ideas in front of eyeballs.
Over at ArsTechnica, Gaming Editor, Kyle Orland did us all a favor and created an array of graphs detailing the way “Super Mario Maker” stages shake out by popularity (with popularity leading directly to Stars, which unlock the ability to upload more stages at once and make existing stages easier for players to find). The …
Vaguely Related Review: Northeast Nebraska Telephone Company
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/08/15 at 02:52 PM CT
It has been a month since Northeast Nebraska Telephone Company (NNTC) rescued me from the ISP tyranny of Windstream (delenda est). I have already written about the gory details of how I came to be a customer of NNTC, so today I’m going to focus on the quality of the company’s service. In a word: Euphoric.
During the process of getting a fiber optic line extended to my farm, NNTC executive, Terry Eriksen, told me the company would begin work on my fiber run on September 21, 2015. They did not actually begin working on that date… they started trenching and running the fiber two weeks before the 21st! I have never heard any anecdotes from anyone dealing with an ISP or teleco where the company starts doing service work early rather than ‘fashionably’ late. Due to their quick start, NNTC had the fiber run completed and ready to trench through my yard and hook up to the house by the 21st.
It just so happened to be raining lightly the day that NNTC showed up to run the fiber …
Backlog: The Embiggening – November, 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/31/15 at 03:45 PM CT
As November – the month that shall be known as “Turkey” at some point in the distant future – arrives, we all need to stop and take time to think about what we’re thankful for. For most gamers, that will be the Turkey 10th release of “Fallout 4.” But the amount of shovelware still being crammed into the release schedule is a bit like Thanksgiving stuffing: nobody really likes or wants it, but it’s cheap filler, so we’re stuck with it. That, and it tastes bad fresh, but even worse left-over…
…Which is relevant because we have a rather large number of leftovers from last month that got delayed into this month. None of them are exciting or anticipated, though, so I will save us all the agony of rehashing them. Onto the fresh shovelware!
The biggest licensed release in quite some time is dropping in the same month as the latest movie sequel in its franchise, with “Star Wars: Battlefront” (a ‘Chris would love that’ title if ever there was one). Aside …
MMObile: Old-School MMOs are Alive and Well... on Smartphones.
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/25/15 at 08:36 PM CT
Recently, I shared my experience with “modern” Massively-Multi-Player Online (MMO) games. As someone who was never a fan of “traditional” MMOs, I appreciate the fact that modern MMOs at least put on airs of being less grindy, less time consuming, and more accessible than the primogenitors of the sub-genre.
However, the fact that modern MMOs now dominate on PC and console platforms does not, indeed, mean that traditional MMOs are dead. Much like any other criminal element, when detected and actively persecuted in one place, they simply moved to another – one that is sparsely regulated and that allows them to target a new audience of suckers who might not be familiar with their fiendish ways.
Sure, “Everquest” is gone, never to return (well, it is scheduled for a reboot, but it will most likely take the form of a modern MMO). Sure, none of the modern MMOs that have arisen to replace it have all of the horrible elements that made it so simultaneously unappealing and …
View Archive
