Vaguely Related Review: Good Old Games
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 01/29/12 at 04:48 PM CT
I am not a PC gamer. There are a number of reasons behind my disdain for the PC as a gaming platform, mostly revolving around cost of upkeep and incompatibility issues. The incompatibility issue that bothers me the most, however, is the fact that games made for older operating systems, like DOS and Windows 9x, don’t play nicely with modern operating systems, like Windows XP and especially Windows Vista/7. Even more annoying is the fact that 64-bit Windows 7 no longer supports 16-bit applications… at all. In order to run 16-bit apps in 64-bit Windows 7, it’s necessary to download a 32-bit virtual machine of Windows XP… but this feature is only available in the Pro and Ultimate flavors of Windows 7, which leaves gamers out in the cold (or forces them to go with a third-party virtual machine) if they aren’t running Windows 7 Ultimate (Who would ever buy Pro for a non-work machine?).
This cut-off of 16-bit compatibility by Microsoft is, of course, necessary. Windows became …
SOPA/PIPA ≠ Tasty South American Dessert
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 01/22/12 at 03:45 PM CT
This past week has seen an unprecedented amount of uproar coming from the Internet. And not just from small, isolated communities on the Internet (which are prone to tempest-in-a-teapot-scale uproars on a daily basis), but the ENTIRE Internet.
What could cause such a huge and fractured group to unite under one banner? How about an undisguised attempt by Corporate America to impose causeless censorship and technical restrictions that would break the underlying structure of the entire Internet? Doesn’t that sound like a great idea? Apparently it DID sound like a great idea to a number of America’s elected representatives; individuals who are put in office by the will of the people in order to represent the will of the people.
But anyone who lives in this country should be well aware that representing the people is the last thing on the minds of many of our congress-critters. Instead, their eyes flash with dollar signs at the prospect of being lobbied. They swoon with the …
FantasyFantasyFantasy
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 01/15/12 at 09:12 PM CT
Fantasy is one of the primary thematic settings that has always driven videogames. It has been with us for decades, primarily pushed by PC game developers in America, with a stylized version creeping across the Pacific to bring life to popular RPG franchises like “Final Fantasy” and “Dragon Quest.” This generation, as more and more Fantasy-themed PC games find their way onto consoles, one thing is becoming painfully apparent: A stunning lack of creativity.
Fantasy is my favorite genre primarily because anything can happen. It is not bound by realism, nor by scientifically-feasible concepts (which are frequently proven wrong or impossible, thus ruining a variety of popular Science Fiction as progress marches on). As long as a Fantasy setting is internally consistent, providing a framework of rules for how the world works, it is actually the most flexible genre for storytelling. Yet what do we get in our Fantasy videogames? A choking glut of so-called “Dark Fantasy,” in …
The Zelda Timeline
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 01/08/12 at 05:57 PM CT
While it has been discussed and debated among fans of the franchise for nearly two decades (with the start of the speculation revolving around “Link to the Past” and “Ocarina of Time”), the timeline of the ‘Legend of Zelda’ series has always been a bit of a mystery. Nintendo would release new games in the series randomly: sequels, prequels, sidestories; everything just got stirred-together into a big, incomprehensible morass. Until now.
For the 25th anniversary of the ‘Legend of Zelda’ series, Nintendo released (in Japan only, sadly) an anthology of ‘Zelda’-related documents and trivia called Hyrule Historia, which has been translated by an enterprising amateur translator who goes by the handle, GlitterBerri. Of particular note is page 69, which contains a complete timeline of Hyrule’s history with each ‘Legend of Zelda’ game occupying its official space. Yet this timeline contains a huge “WTF” surprise in the fact that the creators of the ‘Legend …
Year in Review: 2011
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 01/02/12 at 05:03 PM CT
The year 2011 has come and gone. Every year has its great successes as well as things that didn’t quite go as planned. Let’s take a look back at what the past year brought us:
Top 5 Fails
5. Sony Sues George “GeoHot” Hotz for PS3 Jailbreak
Showing its true colors as an Evil Corporation, Sony decided to sue the hobbyist hacker, George Hotz, a.k.a., GeoHot, for his part in developing and releasing a jailbreak for the PlayStation 3. Sony wasn’t content with 2010’s removal of the ‘Other OS’ feature of the PS3, nor was it content to just issue a Cease and Desist to GeoHot. Instead, Sony went the Big Brother route, suing Hotz and demanding the IP addresses of everyone who visited Hotz’ site or viewed a PS3 jailbreak how-to video on YouTube.
Sony and GeoHot settled out of court. The only part of the settlement that was revealed was the fact that Hotz ‘promised’ never to hack a Sony product ever again. Considering all of the bluster and obnoxiousness on …
Gifts of the Magi
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/26/11 at 02:29 PM CT
Happy Yule, merry Christmas, and happy Hanukkah. At this time of year, the Bible is at the forefront of the thoughts of billions of people around the world. Many of these religious adherents in the civilized world are also gamers. Yet what games are available that cater to the Abrahamic tradition? Not many. Indeed, the world of Christian video games is laughable, still dominated primarily by Wisdom Tree, a developer (in the loosest possible sense of the term) that hasn’t been particularly active since the NES.
It is quite difficult, however, for religion and gaming successfully join forces, especially when certain facets of the former consider the latter to be entirely demonic. At the same time that some Evangelical groups dismiss gaming outright, other individuals endeavor to create games that are “wholesome fun” by sanitizing them for the protection of the youth. But this mentality is completely hypocritical, as the Bible itself is not sanitized! Instead of offering gamers …
Vaguely Related: Wii HDMiKey
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/18/11 at 04:59 PM CT
Wii owners have lamented for several years their console’s lack of “True HD” output, that is, either 720p or 1080p resolution. It is important to remember, however, that in 2005 when the Wii first came into the world, HDTVs of any variety were fairly rare, dwelling in the rec rooms and man caves of dedicated enthusiasts. The government-mandated HD switch-over was continually pushed back, extending standard definition resolution’s (480i/480p) lease on life.
In 2009, the old format was finally slain once and for all, ushering in a new era of digital beauty and fully-legible on-screen text. Of course, the Wii wasn’t ready for this, and as a console, its non-upgradeable nature meant that every Wii game, no matter how artistically rendered, now looked like poo. The once-unnecessary hardware in the PS3 and Xbox 360 that allowed them to output high resolution visuals at the cost of insane launch prices was suddenly necessary, and Wii were left out.
In my quest for improved …
Generation Motion
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/11/11 at 05:00 PM CT
What started as an out-of-left-field stunt by the oldest of the three current console manufacturers turned out to be one of the defining characteristics of the 7th Generation of gaming consoles (aside from shooter domination). Motion controls started a gaming controversy: Are games more accessible when played using semi-natural movements instead of reflex-trained button presses? Are motion controls suitable for all genres? As Generation Motion draws to a close, let us look back and see what we, and our console-making corporate friends, have learned.
Nintendo
The company that started the whole motion control craze built-up a mountain of cash on a foundation of broken promises. While still a good game in-and-of-itself, “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess” is also the embodiment of lazy motion controls that don’t actually add anything to the gameplay. With the Wii, “waggle” became the accepted descriptor of its so-called “revolutionary” motion controls that usually …
Review Round-Up: Fall 2011
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/02/11 at 03:54 PM CT
Welcome back to another installment of the MeltedJoystick Review Round-Up. Here’s what our staff has reviewed since last time:
Nelson’s Reviews:
I reviewed two over-hyped – but frighteningly similar – RPGs that serve as examples of the nonsensical nature of the divide between Js and Ws, an obscure 3D Platformer that turned out to be obscure for a reason, and our last co-op staff game.
“Xenoblade Chronicles”
“Dungeon Hunter: Alliance”
“Brave: The Search for Spirit Dancer”
“Dragon Age: Origins (Ultimate Edition) ”
Chris’ Reviews:
Chris reviewed one of his ‘Sorry about the ApocalyPS3’ rewards, 2 mainstream FPSes (one with ‘dead’ in the title!), and our last co-op staff game.
“Dead Island”
“Dungeon Hunter: Alliance”
“Deus Ex: Human Revolution”
“Super Stardust HD”
Nick’s Reviews:
Nick finally found the time to write-up his review of the multi-player RPG we all played-through together last quarter. His “Dungeon …
Vaguely Related Review: Game Fuel
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/25/11 at 04:19 PM CT
This is the first in what I hope to make an irregularly-recurring column in which I (or one of the other MeltedJoystick staff) review a product that is related to gaming but isn’t an actual videogame or console. This week the product in question is Pepsi’s “Game Fuel” varieties of Mountain Dew.
Game Fuel first made an appearance in 2007 as a tie-in promotion for the release of “Halo 3.” I didn’t get in on this because the promotion period was so short (and because I don’t give a fig about “Halo 3” HA!). When this cherry-citrus flavor returned in 2009 to promote “World of Warcraft,” I managed to snag some (despite also not giving a fig about “World of Warcraft” HA!).
The two “WoW” tie in flavors were Orc Red and Elf Blue, with cherry-citrus red and a blue-raspberry blue that tasted very similar to Mountain Dew Voltage. Both flavors were incredibly tasty, but the red flavor disappeared after the promotion ended while the blue flavor lived on as …
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