By Nelson Schneider - 05/01/26 at 01:21 AM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future! Spring is almost over, which means Industrial Gaming should start winding down for the annual Summer Games Drought. What with the global economy in chaos, will we see our Industry continue to stay the course with its traditional – and not particularly successful – ritualized behaviors, or will we see a shake up? Let’s take a look at what’s coming down the (sewer) pipe in May.
Oof! There’s quite a bit of Made-to-be-Mocked shovel-ready crap coming in May... and ALL of it falls into the Licensed Swill category (or maybe we should start calling it Licensed Slop to keep up with trendy terminology). There’s yet another ‘LEGO Batman’ game, a ‘Bluey’ game, and the first new ‘James Bond 007’ game in a coon’s age (with no movie tie-in to be seen... which seems dubious), all hitting multiple platforms. PC is getting the timed exclusive release of a new ‘Nickelodeon Sports’ game (other platforms will be assaulted later this year), while this month’s sole Noteworthy Port is ALSO a collection of Licensed Swill games in the “Disney Afternoon Collection” (which is Noteworthy because some of those hoary old 8-bit games were pretty good). I guess there is also one shovelware title that isn’t exactly Licensed Swill... ‘Bubsy’ is getting another sequel. I’m going to blame the so-called ‘popularity’ of ‘Dark Souls’ for the perception that there’s a market for a sequel in one of the worst platforming franchises ever.
In new, legitimate multi-platform releases... there’s actually a surprising number of titles with a startling amount of variety. For people who like Driving, there’s the slow-paced Vehicular Simulation of “Bus Bound.” For Horror fans, there’s “Directive 8020,” featuring scary monsters in space or “Cthulhu: The Cosmic Abyss,” featuring scary monsters underwater. Turn-Based RPG fans and Mech fans (... wait a minute... that’s ME!) can look forward to “Starbites,” by Ikina Games, a small-time Korean Indie developer that’s been around since 2017, and published by... EFF-ing HELL, it’s published by Nippon Ichi... well... at least it’s not developed by them, so maybe it’ll still be okay. Lonely board game nerds can look forward to the digital version of Richard Garfield’s (the Magic: The Gathering guy) “King of Tokyo,” which is about a variety of off-brand kaiju wreaking havoc. Finally, the 11,000lb. gorilla in the room, “Grand Theft Auto 6” is allegedly releasing on PlayStation 5 and Xbox SeX in May, which I couldn’t give a fragment of a rat’s ass about, but which has Chris hyperventilating and unable to sleep properly because his desire for it is so overwhelming. (I kind of wish I could still get that excited about new videogames...).
In exclusives, everyone is getting something... except for one someone... but it’s not who you’re expecting! PC is getting the timed exclusive release of “Coffee Talk Tokyo,” a Visual Novel that will be hitting consoles later on in the year. Nintendo is getting “Birushana: Winds of Fate,” an Idea Factory Visual Novel (i.e., crap), “Farming Simulator 26” (which will surely hit other platforms later on.. I mean... it’s ‘Farming Simulator!’), and an actual Nintendo offering in “Yoshi and the Mysterious Book.” At one point, I would have gotten excited about a new ‘Yoshi’ platformer... but I haven’t really enjoyed... any of them, and I don’t have or want a Switch 2. Finally... XBOX IS GETTING AN EXCLUSIVE! It’s “Forza Horizon 6,” one of their biggest first-party IPs. What is Sony doing? Ramming bamboo spikes up their collective ass from the sound of things.
Well that could have been worse. I might be willing to take a look at “007: First Light” just for old times’ sake, provided it’s cheap enough. “Starbites” also seems specifically targeted at me and my idiosyncratic interests. I just hope it isn’t the typical garbage Nippon Ichi tends to publish and that it is neither too ‘weebish’ nor too ‘Korean.’ And, of course, even though I wouldn’t play it even if someone paid me to do so, Chris wants to play “GTA6” yesterday, so I’ll mention that one too.
Backlog Embiggened: +2
